Story 1: The time I was banned for life from Galaxy Cinemas in Midland.
It was an honest accident. I don't even remember when it was. . I was pretty young. I don't think it was really all that long after it opened. A bunch of us had gone to the movies, or a birthday party or something. Some event, taking place at a theater. It was just afterwards, and we were hanging out in the lobby. I was waiting for someone to get off the payphone, just leaning against a wall. Then, it happened.
I felt a slight bump against my shoulder, and didn't think anything of it. Until the alarms went off. I guess the cover that was on the fire alarm was itself also an alarm, and my errant shoulder bump had set it off. They cleared everyone out. And a very clearly pissed young lady asked me to never, ever come back.
I mean, they didn't remember me even a month later, so I couldn't have pissed them off that bad.
Story 2: The time I was banned from GOLF ITSELF
Ok, let me preface this by saying I am not a golfer. I am a driving range fanatic. There's a very simple reason behind this. I can hit that ball like Tiger Woods. I can drive that sucker until I can't see it anymore. But I can't aim it. Not even in the slightest.
"But Josh", I'm sure you're protesting, "Golf is a Gentleman's sport. Why don't you just learn, like everyone else?"
Well, treasured reader, the simple answer is I Don't Care. Golf is boring. I mean, it's fun for the first few holes, then it's just the same thing. You're walking after a ball, and hitting it. I think I can manage the 9-hole courses, but a full 18-hole game of whacktheball? No thanks.
Anyways. I was on a 9-hole course. It was the ninth hole, so I was understandably bored out of my skull at that point. So I drove the ball.
I mean, normally, that's how a shot should start. Except this was a VERY short hole. I mean, if I'd known something about golf, maybe I could have selected the proper club, and I never would have been banned, and I would have grown up to be the next PGA master, but we'll never know.
So I drove the ball. Much, much farther than it should have gone. You know, uh. . into the clubhouse. That drew someone's attention. So when the next when rebounded off of a tree in the parking lot into an SUV, they got pretty pissed. And asked me to never come back.
I didn't even break anything, I feel my rights were infringed upon.
I'll keep adding to this as I remember other places I was banned from. I'm sure there's more.
