Bonus insect story: Spiders

I never, ever had a problem with spiders. I mean, I still don't really, but I never did before, either.

So my ex was coming to pick up her stuff. It was a pretty nasty split, so the night before, I was putting it all in one place in the kitchen to expedite the process.

I was keeping most of her stuff in the basement, because that's where I put your stuff when you break my heart. You don't get a nice warm attic, you get the dungeon. Anyways. I was bringing up an air mattress, all rolled up and in it's bag, when it happened.

I guess the jostling from my walking up the stairs had awakened them. I started to feel tickling on my arms and stuff. . I looked down, completely unprepared for the nightmarish hell I was about to be engulfed in.

Spiders. probably not hundreds, but TENS OF SPIDERS. All over me. So I did what anyone would do in that situation.

I screamed like a girl, SPIDERS! SPIIIIIDERS! AHHH!! Then I ran around flailing my arms and slapping myself any time I felt something that was remotely a tickle. I quickly realized I'd have better luck rolling, so I hit the floor, and started rolling around, slapping myself and still screaming SPIDERS! the whole time.

I eventually killed them all, but that was one of the more traumatizing events I can remember.
Thanks Ed, for the picture.